I’ve been working from home for a month now. I remember when coronavirus was just starting to become a topic of discussion. I didn’t really know what to think of it. Or how big it would become. I stayed away from the office before the call was made for those who could to work from home. I had that luxury to do my job from anywhere.
The first week it was novel. The second week it was still ok. We didn’t know how long it would last or that it could get this bad. Then my wife joined me in our bedroom home office. Schools were closed. Businesses started closing. And for a week again it was novel. All of us home together. All. The. Time.
This is the first week I’ve really started to feel caged and to feel the enormity of it all. My toddler is losing his mind. He’s used to going to the zoo every weekend and seeing his friends. And soccer and music classes. Going to restaurants and parks. Waking freely outside without concern.
So much has changed. We can’t underestimate the psychological impact of all of this social isolation. Social distancing is too nice of a term. It really is isolation. I haven’t seen my friends or family in weeks. And I don’t know when I will see them in person again. My babies haven’t seen their grandparents or aunts and uncles or cousins.
It sucks.
There’s no guidebook or how to to navigate this situation. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. People are going through personal tragedies right now. Losing jobs. Loved ones. Any sense of security whether it be financial, emotional, or physical. I feel like I will be ok and so will my family. That we will get through this as a state and country and world. But part of me is also scared that we won’t. Or that this is going to last much much longer than we think it will.
I don’t want to be a sensationalist. I certainly don’t want to add to all of the fear and anxiety and chaos. But it’s on my mind. It feels silly to write about work stuff. It feels trivial in comparison.
I think maybe it would just be nice to have a hug. And to hug all of my friends. And my brothers and their kids. I miss them. I miss my team. So many luxuries I took for granted. Don’t it always go huh?
I’ve kept in touch with calls and texts and face time and in my job I get to talk to new people every day. I try to send things that will make people laugh. I dance like a maniac to the frozen song that we have listened to ad nauseam (“song again” my son says). I drink beer. I eat chocolate. I sweep the floor. A lot. We are just trying to get through this together. And I’m so lucky I’m not alone.
Life has become a blur. The days of the week are inconsequential. It’s a perpetual Monday. Or Saturday. I don’t really know or care anymore. We are in each others grills 24 hours a day. I long to go for a run or plant a garden or just go to the damn Zoo. There is a world full of space out there but we can’t be in it and that feels crazy.
I’m rambling. But maybe you feel the same. Or different. Or nothing. Or maybe you’re on your tenth beer just trying to get through to tomorrow. Maybe drink some water too. And hang in there. If you’re lonely email me and we can always quote obscure 80s movies. Or 90s. I used to know Ace Ventura from start to finish. Do what you gotta do to stay sane.
Hugs.
