Something I am realizing is that if I’m going to write, I’m going to be uncomfortable. Duh. But, bear with me.
I wrote about interruptions yesterday, which are uncomfortable in a different way. But the discomfort I’m talking about now is realizing that circumstances aren’t always going to be ideal when I want to write. Writing is inconvenient. Has poor timing. And doesn’t care if I have a chisel and stone or the new Macbook Pro to write with. It comes as quickly as it goes. And if I’m too busy trying to be comfortable I’m going to miss it.
I am a ducks in a row kind of person. I like to make my bed each day. I like to organize my papers and my journals and have things in their place before I start work. I have routines and habits that make me feel safe and ready. These comforts enable me in some ways but also hinder me in others. Particularly when it comes to writing.
I have the tendency to want things in their place before I start writing and that is getting in the way of actually writing. I can’t always sit in my cozy chair. Or have quiet. Or I might not be next to my shiny new laptop when I get a great idea. In other words I can’t be comfortable all the time. In fact, to write the way that I need to, I’m going to be uncomfortable quite often.
Perhaps I’ve been trying to make things more comfortable to avoid some of the hard things I want to write about. Or to avoid being scared of what I will write. To limit the amount of time I spend staring at the blank screen. I’m so worried about how I’ll answer the call that I don’t answer it at all. Or I avoid it altogether in lieu or other things that keep me safe – social media, Netflix, playing with the cats, folding laundry. Any myriad of distractions from the work.
I have done well in the past when I have pushed out of my comfort zone. There are many examples from my rowing career and my professional career. Examples in my personal relationships and the decisions I have made over time. And each of those uncomfortable experiences have enriched my life. Made me stronger. More resilient. More ready for change even if I don’t particularly like it. Discomfort has helped me to accomplish some of the most amazing things – starting a family, competing internationally, starting a brand new career, starting this blog.
Understanding this dynamic of seeking comfort or avoiding discomfort has given me a litmus test for doing the work that matters to me. If I’m feeling comfortable I’m probably not writing enough or as much of what I need to. And if I am uncomfortable in some way I’m probably doing the hard work that my heart and soul are pushing me to do.
Time to get uncomfortable.
