Why do we complain? Why do we get frustrated Why do we quit?
We can’t solve a problem. We don’t see a way out. We become demoralized.
But I say that’s the perfect time to pioneer a new way. To step up and lead. To do.
The common trait of complaining and being frustrated and quitting is that it doesn’t involve doing anything. You either stop doing something altogether or you spend all your time bitching and moaning instead of acting.
As a teammate I find it difficult to let people give up. Especially when those same people have helped me out of disastrously self-indulgent funks and kept me going. You can’t quit if there’s a we behind you. Too much accountability. Too much connection. Too much love. And not only that, too much belief you can make it better.
But how to convince someone to persevere when they feel like there’s no point left? Start by asking some better questions.
What does good look like?
What would it mean to you to solve this problem?
How would you feel if you could have the impact you wanted to?
What’s the real problem we are trying to solve?
These questions shift the focus from the negative to the positive, which gets the momentum going back towards doing instead of sitting still.
It is all too easy to get stuck in the cycle of pessimistic over-analyzation. Focusing all of our precious mental energy on the shit show instead of the actions to take to make it better. And the more you focus on the bad the easier it is to convince yourself it will never get better. That it’s pointless. That it doesn’t matter anymore.
As my college coach once said “get out of your own way.” It’s so true. Humans are blessed with large brains that can solve complex equations but then mentally abuse ourselves to the point of depression. We can talk ourselves into and out of everything. Instead of trusting our instincts and looking at the facts. We create this elaborate story backed up by anecdote after anecdote that becomes bulletproof and immune to forward motion.
So I guess a better starting point is to prevent yourself or someone else from getting to that point in the first place. Stopping the downward spiral before it begins. Recognizing changes in attitude and energy. It’s not fun to see your teammate become a shell of who they once were. And it’s not fun to be there yourself.
Teams have pressure and immense challenging goals to achieve. The work is hard. You have to make sure you’re focused on the long term. That you’re solving the right problems. That you can take risks and fail. And that there’s a system in place to pick yourself up and keep moving.
If you went out for a row and flipped and decided to just stop moving you would drown. It’s the same with your work. If you stop moving you’ll drown in your own negativity. Maybe it won’t be perfect tomorrow or the next day. Or ever. But it’s important to keep trying and to keep moving.
What are the small wins you can achieve today? This week? This month?
What’s one problem you have the power to solve?
Start small. Think long term. Keep moving.
Thanks for reading.
