I have the urge to text or call my mom and now my dad regularly. It’s so sharp and immediate and for a millisecond I think that I can. And then a millisecond later I remember I can’t.
There’s just so much I want to share with them. I want to talk to them again. Just say hi. Talk about mundane things. Be a daughter.
Though it’s difficult not to be able to text them anymore I hope the urge never goes away. It means they are staying close to my heart. And that I’m living a life full of things that mean something to me because I want them to know about them.
I’ve got to find a way to capture all of the stories I would want them to hear. To remember the little things they would smile at. The moments that would make them happy and proud. That’s the new version of texting or calling. I can still have the conversation, perhaps in a more meaningful way than a throwaway text. It will be in my mind and my heart. And maybe I can tell my kids that it’s something their grandparents would love.
The urge to be a parented never goes away. Doesn’t matter how old you get.
