It’s hard not to rush.
From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep the responsibilities are nonstop. Sometimes (ok, frequently) that makes me rush through things. Like walking the dog. Or dinner.
I rush rush rush just to get the chance to slow down. And then I’m left wondering what to do or say or how to relax.
I was walking our dog tonight and I realized I won’t always get to walk her. One day she will he gone. And I got teary eyed. So often I look at it as a chore and rush to get it done so I can be done with chores.
But it’s not. It’s a special time with this beautiful, loyal and loving animal and I’m squandering these precious fleeting moments with her.
I’ve been trying hard lately to step back from my fatigue or anger or frustration. In the moment I find it so hard to let go. If I’m annoyed or angry it can consume me. And I’ve been trying to acknowledge it and ask myself is there another way I want to feel. Another way I want to be in this moment? It’s working more often than it’s not but it’s still something I have to focus on and practice. It’s not ingrained. But when it works it allows me to see the blessings in my life and to open my heart.
When I think of my ideal self that is how I want to be. Able to step back from the death grip, the frustration and stress, and be open and loving in the hardest moments. Because they will pass. And I want to set an example for my kids, be a good partner to my wife, and have a heart filled with love and lightness.
This is the challenge. To be stronger than the forces that seek to consume us. To step back. Slow down when you need to. Be present. Not be so hard on ourselves and everyone else. To accept that life is hard but also full of wonder. And appreciate the walks, baths, dinners, and precious time that we have with each other.
