I remember your faces and dances. The stories you’d tell me about all the goofy things you’ve done. It made me smile. I hadn’t thought about how silly you were for quite some time. It was one of the first times in a long while that I didn’t cry and get upset when thinking about you. It was just a happy remembrance.
I think you’d like that. That I was happy thinking of you.
I want to remember those layers. All those pieces of you that I loved so so much. My mom. My friend. A strong intelligent woman. Would do anything for a laugh. Hugs like medicine.
I don’t want to only remember you in a painful missing way. I want what I loved about you when you were alive. The way you made the world special just by being in it. How safe you made me feel. How I could tell you anything. How I could be imperfect and terrible and you’d still love me. And understand.
I miss you but I also remembered I have all these amazing stories about you. I got to have you for 34 years. Wow. How lucky could I be?
You’re gone now physically but you were here when I needed you most. To teach me. To help me grow. To learn ferocity. To learn what true love is.
And you’ll always be here. That’s our word. Always. Nothing can ever take that away.
