Writing these posts is hard when I’m disappointed in myself. It feels fake to try to share advice or a story when I can’t even manage my own emotions. My whole life this has been my biggest struggle: mastering my emotions.
I’m not talking about crying when you are sad or having a physical reaction to stress. I’m talking about failing over and over again at things you want to be better at. Losing control and showing anger or frustration.
Parenting has been the biggest showcase of my shortcomings. And maybe I’m just focusing on what I suck at in this moment because I feel frustrated and disappointed. But there are some things that I’m just not good at. It feels like my worst traits are exacerbated.
I know that breast cancer survivors often don’t call themselves survivors because it defines their life in a way they don’t feel is accurate. And the same with alcoholics. So maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to define myself as a sh-tty parent and perpetuate all these negative terms.
But.
It’s. Fricking. Hard. Parenting is the hardest job i have ever had or will ever have.
Does every parent feel this way? Am I alone here?
There is no way around it, parenting is hard. It is a constant struggle to remain appropriately patient and calm in an effort to help a tiny human explore life, gain understanding of their own emotions and frustrations, and learn how to communicate effectively. Be kind to yourself, you’re doing a good job.
Margot, you certainly are not alone. Johnathon will be 17 in 2 weeks and Taylor will be 12. Every stage is a different struggle, a new ‘disappointment’, however, you’re seeing and feeling the emotions from an adult perspective. You’re children only can see from their perspective. You aren’t failing, you aren’t a sh-tty parent. You are human, and learning how to ‘be’, just like your sweet little one. Each day is a new opportunity. You are doing great , even if you don’t feel it in that moment. -Amy
No, you’re definitely not alone. I’m not a parent myself (but if having a husband counts). I think you’re feeling what you’re feeling is because you’re being real and taking your responsibility seriously. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ll call out all parents are saints actually. Take it easy Margot.