Lately I feel afraid. Of everything. Or at least it feels that way. I work at a company that has principles we use every day to guide our decision making. And I believe in them. Speak to candidates about them. Apply them to my work. But when I’m off the clock I feel like my guiding principle is fear. I recognize it. And I don’t like it.
So how do I change it? How do I become less afraid? How do I shift a deep seeded pattern of thinking so that I can let curiosity and optimism be my guide?
Man I don’t know. We’ve been living in quarantine for a year and a half. We’ve become accustomed to unusual ways of interacting with each other and the world. The decisions we’ve been making are centered around safety and risk aversion. Not wanting to take chances. Staying put.
And while we are starting to come out of this mess somewhat, the pattern of aversion has stuck and had a lasting effect.
I’ll be 42 in August. I don’t want fear to rule the next forty years of my life. I don’t want to base big decisions on being scared. I don’t want to let this pervasive sense of precariousness continue to impact how I interact with the people I love.
Again how do I change it? I need a framework not just a wish.
What I marvel at it how easily we can create a framework to be afraid. Almost unconsciously. It starts with a few thoughts and then blooms into an intricate and ingrained repeated mentality. And before you know it you’re surrounded by negative, harmful, and intrusive thoughts all the time.
So perhaps dissecting how I got here in the first place and then reverse engineering it is a good place to start. Look to the problem for the answer. Start small. One thought at a time. Repeat. Continue until my world is filled with positive and curious thoughts. Understand that the bad ones won’t just go away forever. But that I’m in control. If I can build it one way I can build it the other. I have agency.
Yes I think that’s a good place to begin unraveling all the fear and giving it a new light. Fear is natural I suppose. We all want to stay safe. But there should to be a balance of excitement and exuberance and willingness to not know how it will all turn out.
