More than ever, jobseekers today need to be tough. Layoffs. Recession. Archaic promotion processes.
But what does it mean to be tough?
You might think it means hiding weaknesses, and vulnerability. Always putting on a good face. Never showing doubt. Working to exhaustion every day.
Well, toughness might not mean what you think it means.
I’ve been reading a fantastic book called Do Hard Things by Steve Magness. Magness is a performance expert and executive coach and his book aims to challenge our common assumptions and perceptions of what it means to be tough. He also provides alternative ways of training our thinking so we can navigate life’s challenges and achieve optimal performance.
One thing we get wrong, according to Magness, is that “We’ve demonized doubt. Showing any weakness, having any hesitation, is a sure sign that you don’t deserve the raise.” Substitute “raise” for promotion, victory, enjoyment, love. Contributing to this self-doubt is the prevalent belief that “Acting confident leads to success.” Fake it till you make it. Right?
Let’s think about this in light of today’s jobseeker. Everywhere you turn there are stories of mass layoffs, a downturn in the market that could last for years, and stories of companies that don’t listen to or value their employees. In a market like that, self-doubt is bound to make us feel like we aren’t tough enough.
But is self-doubt really such a bad thing after all? Is vulnerability the thing that’s holding you back? Or can we combat these archaic ways of thinking about productivity, endurance, and high-performance and take back the narrative. Magness would argue it’s the latter.
As someone who has gone through a major career transition in the past I can understand where all this doubt comes in. Below I’ll outline four strategies for managing self-doubt and challenging your assumptions about your own toughness.
Don’t suffer in silence
My first manager at Amazon told our cohort this exact thing. If you’re struggling ask for help. It seems like a simple thing, but when you’re feeling lost and incapable it can be really hard to ask for help. By showing her own vulnerability she helped our group to see that it was ok to struggle. And when you create an environment where it’s ok not to know everything and to make mistakes, it makes it easier for you to ask for help. Asking for help can strengthen bonds with our teammates, family, and friends. That was five years ago and I know if I asked any of those people for help today they would be there for me.
Lesson: showing vulnerability can make you more resilient and strengthen our bonds with others
Tell your own story
If you get your news from social media like most of us do, it can be easy to ingrain unproductive narratives as your own. What this does over time is make you feel like you have no control over your life (another key point in Magness’s book – that a sense of control or lack thereof can dictate outcomes) and you begin to act according to this narrative and not your own.
While the difficulties of jobseeking are common, your story is not. Tell your story and leverage your truths. Even if you just write in a journal, telling your story can help clarify how you feel and help you focus on what’s in your control. Having a sense of control over your story, your life, your outcomes can help combat the dominant narrative and lead to better outcomes.
Lesson: control your narrative, control your outcomes
Read voraciously
And I don’t mean social media. Read books. There are many amazing authors out there with well-researched and thought provoking books to read. What I love about reading is that it gives me time to think about big ideas and concepts. I make notes in the margins and underline key ideas I want to come back to. Then I can weave my interpretations and takeaways from these ideas into my own stories. Reading can help us think more clearly and solidify our own ideas, which can improve our sense of confidence and direction.
Lesson: reading clarifies your thinking, and clear thinking is powerful
Produce more than you consume
This is the most important one in my opinion. The times when I feel most invigorated and most confident are when I’m producing instead of consuming. But Margot didn’t you just tell us to read other peoples books? Isn’t that the opposite of production? Yes and no. I’m talking mainly about passive consumption, like scrolling through Twitter. You’re just going for a ride.
Reading, is active consumption. It gives me ideas. It sparks critical thinking. It stimulates my creativity. And all of those things help me to produce my own content. I’m not saying there is no place for social media. There is. I share my work there. But if you find yourself passively consuming more than you’re producing that’s a good time to make a change.
Lesson: production is greater than passive consumption
In conclusion, there’s no doubt that jobseekers are facing difficult circumstances, but you don’t have to settle for the dominant narrative that struggling is the same as not being tough. Focus on what you can control – like asking for help from your network, controlling your internal narrative, actively consuming books and other things that get you to take action, and then focus on producing your best work. When jobseekers (or anyone on the search) step back you can see what you can control versus what you cannot, and this simple shift in perspective can help you feel tougher than ever.
Until next time.
Always on the search.
