You do something wrong. Or overreact. Lash out in anger. Act like a jerk. And then apologize. But then it happens again. Then you apologize again. And so it repeats and becomes ingrained.
Good habits aren’t just about stopping bad ones. They are about creating new and more productive or even more passive responses to situations. Try simply observing anger and then letting it pass away.
Approaching a negative emotion with curiosity detaches us from the heat of the emotion enough to see it for what it is. Fleeting. This will pass. But if we add fuel to the fire and allow ourselves to linger in the negative emotion it will blossom and forge pathways for it to happen again. Like water eroding grooves into a rock so too can the repeated rush of anger, fear, or frustration erode our minds ability to remain impassive when difficult emotions arise.
We have to create deeper grooves elsewhere that allow the good to flow through us. Or maybe we just have to stop eroding what’s there with a constant flow of negativity. Be observers rather than unwanted passengers on a train that’s off the tracks.
We have the ability to accept and feel what we feel without letting it consume us and harm those we care about the most. Or we can make I’m sorry a habit. We’ve got work to do.
