I’m changing my name back to Margot Shumway. It’s time to get out of the funk. (See my previous post on this topic here: https://www.margotshumway.com/dissatisfied/)
A long time ago I raced the pair at US Nationals in Camden, NJ. My partner and I finished a race and it was not our best performance. We were bummed. Moping around kicking rocks.
My mom was there. She tried to cheer me up but it wasn’t working. She had the chance to meet our coach Eleanor and she asked how she helps her athletes feel better. Eleanor simply said “sometimes you just have to let them feel bad for a while.”
It’s true. Feeling bad for a little bit is ok. You have time to reflect on what went well and what didn’t and to make some changes next time. Being upset after a bad performance is also a sign that you expect a lot from yourself and that you care. Both good things.
What isn’t good is feeling down for a long time. Beating yourself up. Ruminating to the point where you’re lost in your funk.
If you’re high achieving or have high standards you might fall into this pattern of thinking. I know I do. I beat myself up relentlessly until I feel like absolute crap. Loved ones and coworkers will tell me it’s not true and show support. But it doesn’t matter. I can only see the truth I’ve told myself. And after days or even weeks of this pattern I’m so down I start to feel hopeless and lost.
So how the heck do you get out of the funk and reclaim your passion, humanity, and drive?
You can start by looking at the reality of the situation. What is out of your control and can you accept it even if you don’t like it? And what is in your control that you can focus on to make things better or to keep moving forward?
Sounds simple right? But this takes practice and consistency to make it stick.
Some things that might help are writing, breathing exercises, or changing your scene and your state. Go for a run. Do some push ups. Get outside in the frosty air. Have some paper ready (yes paper. It still exists) and write down what you can accept about your situation and what you can control. Close your eyes and take deep breaths in through your nose and out thorough your mouth to help clear your head. Breathing like this also helps to focus on the present moment, and the act of breathing itself which can have a calming effect. But whatever you do practice, practice, practice.
If we want to be good at things (work, sports, relationships) we need to practice and ingrain good habits that support us through the ups and downs. It’s not realistic to think life will always be linear. And we won’t always be able to avoid a funk. As I said, sometimes it’s ok to feel bad for a little bit. As long as it’s short lived and you don’t end up dwelling needlessly and thinking you’re worthless.
Find a daily ritual that will snap you out of negative thinking and get you focusing on proactive things you can do to keep moving forward. It’s like flossing. A little bit every day keeps your gums healthy and chicken out of your teeth. Err you get my point.
And one last thing: make sure to acknowledge when you do something good. Either or thinking can be a trap as well. So make sure to celebrate the wins big or small. You could even write them down and keep a running list that you can look at every day to remind you of what you’ve accomplished. And most importantly to remind you of your humanity and worth.
If you’ve got a daily practice that helps alleviate a funk I’d love to hear about it.
Thanks for reading.
