If you suffer from a short fuse like me it can be a constant source of frustration. And even more so cause for disappointment when you let those you care about down.
Sometimes you don’t go off. And you feel great. You handled a tough situation well. One step forward.
But then you do go off. And it feels like all that work just crumbles and is forgotten. You didn’t really make progress at all. We are good at telling stories like this.
But my wife pointed something out to me tonight: I don’t need to be perfect. And now that I’ve had a few hours to reflect on what she said I get it. I put too much pressure on myself to be perfect and it gets in the way of real progress and productive interactions with others.
No one is perfect. But when you’ve got a glaring flaw like impatience or short-fusedness (go with it) perfectionism is often it’s trusted companion. And the two work together (inside your mind) to create such a high expectation that you’re bound to fail.
So number one – stop trying to be perfect. And number two – set smaller, reality based goals. Number three – get some help if you struggle coping and don’t have strategies for dealing with what’s bubbling beneath the surface. Things like recognizing when you’re triggered and having some practices at the ready that can help you deal with the associated anger, anxiety, or frustration. A professional can help you with this and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
It’s not easy navigating all of life’s complexities and stressors and situations. But a good first step is to realize it’s ok to not be perfect and to recognize you’re not alone in trying to figure it all out.
