For John and Julian

The waters of the ocean ebb and flow. Carrying in and whisking away. New life. Death. Possibility. And closure.

So many times in life I have wondered why everything seems to happen all at once. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that it is and always will be like this. There is never a moment of existence that isn’t starting or ending at the same time. A birth. A death. A first breath. And a last. It’s the impossible agonizing beauty of our time here on Earth.

How can we make sense of the dichotomy of holding a newborn and losing a loved one in the same moment? It’s as though time is split in two. And we feel both equally and have to find a way to balance the scales of our hearts. To feel joy and pain at the same time is difficult but also sheds light on what it means to truly love.

Love is ever replenishing. And for everything I have lost in life I have gained such deep and profound love and exultation. We are echoes and reflections and mirrors of all that love. It does not go away. It is reborn and renewed forever and ever and ever.