Last Friday during my bus ride to work I decided to see if I could go the entire route without looking at my phone. It wasn’t too hard but I definitely had to fight the urge to reach into my pocket and look at it. There wasn’t anything urgent I was expecting to find out. Just the habit of constantly refreshing and updating and scrolling.
The ride was interesting. I looked out the window. I people watched. And after a few minutes my mind started to wander. Suddenly a memory of my first interaction with my wife many years ago popped into my head.
I had just moved to Princeton to train with the national rowing team. I had driven in from Washington, DC and had left friends and a life that I loved behind. I showed up at a team birthday party that everyone had dressed up for. Some people were wearing heels and black dresses and had their makeup done. I showed up in jeans and a Patagonia vest sans makeup.
I had never really spoken to my future partner until that night and as I passed by her to go get a drink she leaned in and said something snarky about my dress. To which I responded with something not nearly as witty and involving several curse words. It was flirtatious and sarcastic and left an impression on me.
On the bus I found myself smiling in spite of myself. Remembering this initial playful moment preceding our nearly eight years together. Shutting off my phone gave me the chance to remember this moment and to feel happiness and gratitude. It’s hard to get away from the constant barrage of things that don’t matter but seem important. Being busy feels inescapable. But there are small ways we can check in with ourselves and remember something lovely from our past. I’m not saying to live in the past. But the memories can help us better appreciate where we are right now and the things that matter the most.
Go ahead. Shut off your phone for a few and let your mind wander. Does anything pop into your head that makes you smile? Where does your mind drift when it’s not encumbered by all the things?
