People ask me if I miss coaching. When I stopped rowing in 2012 people asked me the same question. Do you miss it? The answer is no. And it sounds weird and harsh to say that but it’s not because I’m callous and don’t care.
If I missed coaching or rowing I would still be doing both. But I was ready to move on from each and that’s why the “missing” isn’t there. It’s not that I don’t have strong emotions tied to each, or that I didn’t love them while I was doing them. I just reached a point where those activities were no longer sustainable with where I wanted to take my life.
I feel this way frequently in life and sometimes I’ve wondered if it’s because I have no attention span. But I think the real reason is timing and circumstance and the evolution of our dreams.
The things we enjoy are often vehicles that transport us to some form of higher living. Rowing was a way for me to test my physical and emotional (and financial) limits. A way to see how far and how big I could take something. I experienced euphoria and elation many times when I was out in my single and my mind and body were in sync.
Coaching was a way for me to survive financially once I stopped rowing and a means to translate my passion for the sport towards helping others be successful. And coaching rowing has led me to some amazing people and places and a new career. The relationships I have built last beyond the launch and have filled my life with laughter, hugs, and friendship.
I am grateful for the time I spent doing both, but they no longer fulfill me or sustain me the way I need. I have a family now and a home and a focus on creating the most beautiful life for us that I can. And I also want to use my creativity and drive in other ways and see how far I can take those things.
Am I doing exactly what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? I don’t know. But it’s a vehicle for me to explore, gain insights, grow my dreams, and meet more incredible people.
Eventually I won’t miss it, but it’s because I’m ready for the next step and that’s just fine with me.
