When I was 23 I decided to pack up my belongings, borrow a boat, and move to Augusta, GA to row. My goal was to make the US National rowing team. I had only been rowing for about a year and a half at Ohio State but I fell in love with the sport, the people, and the challenge to become great at something.
The point of this post isn’t whether I was successful in the endeavor. The point is that I didn’t know my a– from a hole in the ground when it came to rowing, but I took a risk. I left everything I knew and the “traditional” path to try something I was passionate about. I chose the path of seeing how far I could push my limits in rowing instead of just trying to get a job and start my life.
Fast forward to present day. I’m 40. I still have dreams like this, but I’m way less inclined to take a risk to pursue them. There are so many other dependencies that prevent me from pursuing some random dream. My life is more complex. It’s not just me and a boat trying to row fast.
I’ve got kids. A mortgage. Car payments. Bills.
But also stability both financially and emotionally. I’ve got people who depend on me not to make stupid decisions. People who might not need me to take risks right now.
There’s so much at risk now than when I was 23. The web of my life is much more intricate.
So how do we forge ahead with big ideas that excite us when it feels like our lives are stacked against us?
There are a lot of people on social media who would tell you to just quit your job and go for it. But I don’t think that’s the best advice for me. I don’t think that advice is grounded in the reality of my life. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a job even if it isn’t your life’s passion. There are so many benefits that a good job can bring that for me outweigh the cons.
So I try to carve out time for writing and pursuing projects that I’m passionate about. It’s hard. My kids are young. I want to be present and share the load of parenting with my wife. But I still squeeze in what I can. And that has to be enough for now. My kids will grow and become more independent and that will change the amount of time I have to spend on passion projects. Life is always in flux and schedules and challenges ebb and flow.
I think maintaining hope and taking consistent steps no matter how small they might seem are keys to pursuing dreams at different stages of your life. We aren’t always in a position to completely abandon ship to do something we dream about doing. And I don’t think we always have to. We can find ways that fit in with our lives. Help us maintain a healthy sense of progress while also taking care of our responsibilities. To sort of have it all.
There may only be one time in our lives when we can be truly and wholly selfish to pursue something. And we do sacrifice in order to do that. Missing time with family. Delaying a career of having kids of our own. Living with fear that it might not work out.
But for the rest of our life we can still pursue dreams that matter. And maybe the perspective of having other things that matter too – relationships, savings, career can perhaps add valuable perspective and give us additional motivation to achieve our dreams.
What do you think?
