When I was a freshman in college I stopped eating meat. For seven years I avoided meat in everything I ate. I didn’t have any grand idea behind wanting to do it other than wanting to see if I could. And I did. And then one day when I was home at my parents house in Ohio we ordered Chinese food for dinner. I took one look at the orange chicken and decided I was done being a vegetarian.
This post is not about orange chicken and whether or not you should eat it. It’s about deciding when you’re done.
I’ve been toiling away at my first book for a year. I set the goal last January to write a book by the end of the year. While I do not have a book as you may think of it, I have a blobish-like rambling disorganized pile of words, and I wrote every single one.
Throughout the course of working on this book I’ve had ups and downs. There were times when I couldn’t write fast enough. And others where writing anything at all would have been a victory. Sometimes I really loved what I wrote. Others, I felt like what I wrote was just garbage filling the white space.
This whole process has been difficult, but rewarding beyond measure. One thing I know is that I will continue to write, regardless of what becomes of this first mess of mine. But the other thing I have learned is that it’s up to me to decide when I’m done and to move on.
I haven’t written anything in this book for almost two weeks. This was after I had a breakthrough where I thought I finally had the vision down and was going to make this thing perfect. I wrote about ten thousand words and then . . . nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not a finger! (sorry that’s a Christmas Story quote but for some reason it popped into my head and felt appropriate.)
I have been feeling like I have to push through this and finish it. Perhaps for some arbitrary ability to tell people “I wrote a book!” But I’m realizing done doesn’t have to mean it’s on a shelf in a bookstore somewhere. It just means I’ve done all I can do for now. I’m deciding that it’s done. And I’m ok with that.
I’m ready to move on and write something else. I’ve given everything I can to this first attempt, and now I want to put my efforts elsewhere.
So, just like that orange chicken, today I’ve decided it’s time to start something new. And no, I won’t be giving up meat again.
Thanks for reading. Hugs.
