A good dad makes sure there is food on the table. That you’ve got clothes to wear to school. That you look both ways before crossing the street. That you go to college and find a good job and become independent.
A good dad tells jokes and stories and makes you feel safe. A good dad always makes sure the oil in the car is changed. A good dad will kill spiders and pull the hair out of the drain.
A good dad works long days. A good dad mows the lawn and always remembers to feed the dog or cat. A good dad walks the trash down to the street.
A good dad does all of these things. But I don’t have a good dad.
I have an amazing dad. My dad taught me that other people might react differently than me to certain situations and that’s ok. My dad always had 20 bucks for me when I went out at night “just in case.” My dad took me shopping for sweatshirts when I was going through puberty and didn’t know how to feel about my body. My dad came to all my basketball games and travelled clear across the world to watch me row. My dad helped me buy a car so I could travel around for rowing. My dad helped me open my first savings account so I could learn about money. My dad asked me once if there were any “boys or girls i liked.” And though I scoffed at the question then I know now he just wanted to know me.
My dad came to school once for a fair day and I got to pretend shave his face. I smeared shaving cream all over his cheeks and shaved them with a popsicle stick and it was the proudest moment of my young life. My dad had biceps so big I couldn’t fit both hands around them. I used to watch him drive with the window down and his elbow resting on the frame. His other hand would tap the top of the car to the beat of whatever song we were listening to. I was too little to reach the top of the window but I remember the day I was big enough too and I felt a sense of pride and connection. I was big like my dad.
My dad taught me how to fish. How to whittle wood. Gave me a pocket knife. Let me mow the lawn with the riding mower even though I crashed it once.
My dad and I are more similar than my mom and I were which is probably why we had a hard time getting along when I was younger. But I love the ways we are similar now. Passionate about our beliefs. Caring of our families. Protective. Responsible. Generous. Kind. Full of insane jokes. Animal lovers.
My dad cared for my mom while she fought lung cancer. He bathed her when she was too weak to get in the shower on her own. He made her a poached egg nearly every morning. He took her to treatment. He worried. He loved. He held it all together for her. Though she was dying I’m so grateful they had that time together.
The most important reason my dad is an amazing Dad is because he’s never wavered in his love for me. Even when I was an asshole. Even when I sided with my mom. Even when he felt alone. He has always been there for me. No. Matter. What.
Love trumps all. Thanks for being there for me and loving me and being such a wonderful dad. Through thick and thin. I love you.
