What is more likely to solve your problem or provide a deeper understanding of your emotions: allowing an emotion to consume you or being curious about it?
Say a coworker does something that annoys me. I tend to think about how annoyed I am. How annoying they are. And staying within the feeling of annoyance. It doesn’t really get me anywhere and creates potential issues if I keep holding on to that emotion. It can color future interactions with that person and further block communication.
But what if I approached it from a standpoint of curiosity? Hmm. That was annoying. I wonder why they did that. What were they looking for in that moment? What did I do that night not have helped?
Curiosity is a tool that allows us to be empathetic and to see a situation from someone else’s perspective. It can also help us uncover something about someone else (or ourselves) that we might not have considered. To understand them better. And hopefully work with them more effectively.
It can also diffuse our own anger or frustration and take the pressure off. By focusing on someone else we shift energy from an unproductive feeling directly into understanding and awareness.
It’s far more satisfying to connect with someone or solve a problem then it is to just feel pissed.
I am by no means saying don’t be angry or frustrated. Or that it’s not valid to find some people annoying in life. That’s all totally fine. It’s what you do with the emotions and the situations that can improve your life.
Next time you’re in a situation that upsets you try to be curious. Maybe you’ll learn something and feel better too.
