Four posts until the end of the year. I honestly feel like I’ve emptied the tank. I’ve done everything I could in this year. This year wasn’t like the last and won’t be like the next. What I wrote was real and all me. I don’t know yet how I’ll keep going with this...
Continue readingSleep, Where Are You?
I long to fall into bed. Close my eyes. And sleep until I awake naturally. It almost makes me want to cry the longing is so intense. No one explained how hard sleep deprivation was. It’s probably better they didn’t. But when you can’t get good sleep the thought of a deep and calming...
Continue readingHere, In This Moment
Mindfulness is something elusive to me. Being in the moment, whether it be joyful or painful is very difficult. I’m always thinking ahead. Usually because of some fear or anxiety that I have. What I do experience is flashes of anger or joy or sadness. They well up quickly and burn or gush or...
Continue readingAll The Wishes
I fell asleep. This is all I got. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays....
Continue readingAdventurous Heart
It’s the night before Christmas. Both boys are sleeping soundly. We’ve wrapped the presents and put them under the tree. We had a wonderful dinner with great conversation after. The boys are too young to know Christmas as it is today. A largely consumer holiday. Too young to want things. Too young to feel...
Continue readingBooks
I’m reading again. And that makes me so happy. I’ve read two books this month, which is quite the feat with two little ones demanding most of the time and attention. I feel like writing and reading go hand in hand. To be good at one I need inspiration from the other. I love...
Continue readingRaked Over The Coals
A kind friend today told me that I was being too hard on myself. It was a simple loving statement. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I have been so hard on myself lately. And I have felt so down. And I realized today after she said it how true it was....
Continue readingWhat I Wouldn’t Do
I had just finished telling my son that I would always be there for him when he fell into the lake running after a tennis ball. I should have seen it coming. But there he was flailing his arms and kicking to keep his head above water and in a second I was waist...
Continue readingChristmas Vacay
The time has come for the holidays. And I am so ready. All I really want this year is for our little family to catch up on some desperately needed sleep. And cookies. Time to unplug from work. Plug into family and the holiday spirit. Bake. Drink. Be merry. This is the first Christmas...
Continue readingCulture Is What You Measure
When I trained in Princeton erg scores were very important. So was how much you weighed. So was how many kilomètres you rowed. Training there was all about numbers. And I hated it. The culture was cutthroat and fear driven. If you didn’t have the numbers you weren’t going to get a shot. The...
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